I spent some time the other day reading through journal entries and adding them to new pages on the site. You will find the first at Wish Wash. Click the "Later" link at the top right to flip through the entries.
I was very depressed during most of 2005 and 2006. Oh well. The conclusions I reached then fueled my current beliefs. All of it - the website, accusing my husband of being abusive, et cetera, began with me tearing myself apart.
I guess when I finished tearing myself down (am I really finished?), I knew our marital problems could not possibly be 100% my fault as he seemed to want me to believe. I was damaged, but I wasn't broken.
Reading the old journal entries made me terribly sad. Sad for myself, where I've been; how lost I'd become.
It's better now. I'm better now. I think.
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